Labor Day Weekend, a weekend in which the American working individual takes time to relax, enjoy a barbeque with friends, or if you are from Warminster attend the Al Perlini Memorial Soccer Tournament. The tournament has taken place for I would say about 20 years and has become a staple in many local families Labor Day plans. The format has the boys teams playing on Saturday and then the girls teams playing the next day. This year I was fortunate enough to attend the Sunday event in which my neices team participated. It was during the few hours on the soccer field spectating which I had many problematic instances occur (or at least I thought so).
Being from an avid soccer family it leaves no guess that a majority of the Lynch clan were situated on the same sideline as the Warminster team we were supporting. The sidelines were crowded with anxious spectators, (including myself) many folding chairs, loud children, and referees saying "stand back from the line" which are all staples of competitive soccer tournaments. It wasn't till about 25 minutes into the first half when I had a revelation of my future. It had nothing to do with the fact I was sweating through my shorts or that I forgot to apply sunblock. It had everything to do with me wanting to strangle the outside half back from the opposing team who insisted on getting beat by the same oppossing player with the same move again and again (she is probably 9 years old). At that instance I thought to myself what kind of father would I be in competitive in sports? Would I be the father who didn't care and say to himself it is just for fun? Or would I basically yell at my child for being stupid enough to fall for the same move over and over again? I would like to say I would be the kind and understanding father, but I don't know for sure. To be continued becasue only time will tell on that one.
Just then, I broke out of deep thought about my parental guidance issues to watch this girl get beat again, this time for a goal. Shortly after halftime came and the players disperse to the sidelines for orange slices and grapes, which looked awesome. Then the girl who consistantly got beat came and sat on her father's lap right in front of me. Luckily I kept my mouth shut about the girl, because a fight might have broken out. The father gave her a hug and said to her "you played great, good job". At that moment in time I was infuriated in objective opinion and pictured myself kicking this guy in the nuts. I understand I might have problems, but I hope to God these aren't the expectations this father has for his daughter, not only on the field but in life. Here is a girl, who I understand is only 9 years old, but is believing she is doing a good job when in reality she is not good what so ever. If only in the work place you could screw up time and time again, and still keep your job. The two ends of the spectrum I mentioned earlier surely can be made into a gray area. I would probably not complement her for her poor performance, but maybe mention what has been happening and give some advice as to change the misfortune.
As you didn't think I was crazy enough there is still one more instance on the fun filled day. After the game was completed an award trophy ceremony took place in which the 1st place team received shiny gold trophies. Yep, and as you guessed the second place team received silver trophies slightly smaller than the previous. My third reality check took place when the 3 teams who did not place in the event received miniature trophies. At what point did every team get trophies in tournaments? I can remember be upset after losing tournaments cause of a poor performance or getting beat by an opposing team. At no point did anyone lower than the third place team get an award. I have to ask the question what is going on in our society? Remember as a kid when you tried out for a team and got cut, it hurt alot, but made you a better person (am I right). Now they create B, C, and even D teams just so everyone has a chance to play. Also they give trophies out to teams underserving. The lesson they are learning is you can suck, but here is a reward so you don't feel bad about yourself (then they go home and show everyone there trophy and have a shelf made to put it on). It hurts me to see the soft, entitled, and spoiled children this society is grooming. In job interviews not everyone gets the job it is usually just the best person. Children need to be prepared for disappointment in there lives, it is better they learn it competitive sports than elsewhere. These are real life issues which we are teaching the children and they are misguiding, in my opinion.
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3 comments:
I totally agree. After listening to many stories like this, it seems to be the paradigm has switched. Our parents and even our generation lived in a Parent Centered World. Children were given it straight and knew their place. Coddling wasn't the norm. These days, we live in a Child Centered World. They can do no wrong, are each Harvard candidates and perfect little ladies and gentlemen. They barely have to ask to receive. It will be interesting when the majority of these children reach the workplace. Crazy.
Dave, don't strangle the children. Not worth it.
I have mixed thoughts on this topic. I don't have a problem with everyone having a chance to be on a team at that age. It is more about getting kids into social situations than about the sport itself at that age. I also don't have a problem with the father encouraging the kid. Now, all this is under the assumption that the town has an "in house" league and also has a travel team and that the story took place in the in house league. If not, scratch everything I said and strangle the kid.
Travel teams should be for the more serious/better players but I think all kids should have the chance to play soccer at that age if they want just like all kids have the chance to sing in the school chorus at that age if they want. I think kids need these years to figure out what they're good at an lean all the teamwork/social stuff. The other kids will let the kid know if they're good enough to continue or not.
I do not agree with these rules where all kids must play a certain amount of time or something in competetive leagues though. And I do agree with the larger point that kids are too coddled these days.
Interesting topic. I'm somewhat torn on this one as well. On a smaller scale, sports are supposed to be fun, and giving kids a little pat on the rear (in an encouraging manner ONLY) is fine. When looking at the big picture though, letting them think they're succeeding when they obviously are not, gives them a false sense of security, and can set them up for a lot of disappointment in the future. This also paints you as a fraud to your child when he catches on that you're yanking his/her chain. That being said, you should've kicked that father's a$$!!!
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